The Search for Truth

Parshat Va'era

Last week’s parsha ended with Moshe Rabeinu (Moses) questioning Hashem:  Why are you continuing to harm these people (the Jews; and making the exile worse)?

The answer is found in the beginning of this week's parsha, where Hashem responds to Moshe by saying: "I am Hashem that appeared to Avraham, to Yitzchak and to Yaakov (and they did not question me), but my "Real" name (Yud-kHei-Vuv-kHei - the ineffable name) I did not reveal to them.  I will now uphold my promise.  I will take the Jews out of Egypt and redeem them."

A few questions arise: What is the point of Hashem seemingly diminishing the forefathers, by telling Moshe, 'I did not reveal my true name to them'? Why do the names of the forefathers need to be listed here one by one, rather than just saying "the forefathers"? 

Most importantly:  What do we learn from this that we can apply to our own lives in our personal search for meaning?

The answer lies in a deeper look at the words, "...my real name, I did not reveal to them (the forefathers)." 

The greatest commentary on the Torah, Rashi, explains here that Hashem was saying that his real name (Yud-kHei-Vuv-kHei - the ineffable name) represents His attribute of Truth, and this attribute was not made apparent to the forefathers. 

However, now, when the Jews will leave Egypt, they will know my real name - they will know "Truth."

Why did the forefathers not know G-d's attribute of truth?  Because spiritually, the forefathers may have also been in "Egypt." 

The word "Mitzrayim" (the Hebrew word for "Egypt" in the Torah) also means "narrow", "limited", and "constrained."  The Egyptian exile may have ended, but any Jew can find themselves still stuck in Egypt.  When we feel stuck and "constrained," it's because we are in our own personal form of Egypt or "Mitzrayim."

Our constraints are physical, and primarily, they are spiritual.  In fact, even the most holy are stuck in their own spiritual limitations.  To truly leave Egypt means that a person leaves all limits, even the holy ones. 

In other words, as long as I am serving Hashem, and seeking a higher purpose and spiritual fulfillment, according to "my" understanding and "my" natural tendencies - meaning my holy and higher tendencies to do good and be good, I will always stay stuck in Egypt.  Because this may be "my truth," but since I am a limited being, "my Truth" is also limited - like me. 

To get out of Egypt, I have to get out of myself, including the highest form of myself.

How do I achieve this?  By relating to Hashem on His terms, and not my own. 

But the truth is that I cannot achieve such a lofty goal on my own.  Only Hashem can do this for me, but I have to welcome Hashem into my life in a higher and greater way than I have until now to get His help in such a manner. 

This requires me to no longer relate to myself as "me" - the spiritual journeyman (or woman), a.k.a. the character or painting I have come up with on my own to define who my higher self is, and what it looks like when it's serving G-d. 

I must lose any and all sense of self, including the highest form of myself - the "servant of G-d."  When that happens, I have left Egypt. 

How do I get to this exactly?  By Hashem revealing His deepest essence, His attribute of Truth - the Real Name of Hashem, the ineffable one, to me.  Such a powerful and pure revelation of Hashem Himself forces me to lose myself - even the highest form of "me."  When that happens, I leave all constraints and preconceived notions I have of myself.  At that point, I no longer define myself as a "servant of G-d", as someone who learns this book or that book, or that I am a "prayer-er" more than a "learner" or vice versa. 

We are all now stuck in this final exile, and we are reminded of this again when we face personal challenges, and when we face global challenges as a Jewish nation.

However, if we have to wait, G-d forbid, another moment for our redemption from this exile, we should know, that we can experience personal redemption, and it's within our grasp.  What's the measuring stick to know if I escaped my personal Egypt? 

The answer is:  "I am Hashem that appeared to Avraham, to Yitzchak and to Yaakov, but my "Real" name, I did not reveal to them."

Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov were also limited in their spiritual evolution, believe it or not.  Avraham espoused doing acts of kindness.  Yitzchak espoused self-refinement.  Yaakov espoused the study of Torah.  Yet in Kabalah they are all referred to as the "chariot" of Hashem - completely and utterly nullified to G-d.  But they expressed this self-nullification in an overt way fitting to their individual spiritual make-up.  Being that they are after all created beings, they are limited, and their spiritual character is also a limited being, even when it becomes a "chariot" to Hashem.

If the forefathers were stuck in such limits, then how can you or I escape our limits, and our personal Egypt?  Listen to Rashi who tells us, Hashem's real name is His attribute of "Truth."  When you find "Truth" you have found Hashem himself, and then automatically you leave Egypt.

To find Truth, you have to know what to look for.  So, what is "Truth"?

In Hebrew, the word for truth is Emet; spelled Aleph, Mem, Tuv.  Aleph is the first letter of the alphabet, Mem is the middle letter, and Tuv is the last letter.  Truth permeates everything and everywhere...from the beginning, through the middle and until the end.

The true litmus test of whether I have found truth is by looking at myself and asking myself, 'Do I live with the weather, or with G-d?'

If I live with the weather, then I'm happy when it's sunny and warm, and when it's cold and cloudy, I'm sad. 

When I live with the weather, when I have a sore-throat or I'm tired, maybe I learn less Torah, and pray with less devotion.

On the other hand, when I live with G-d, I follow His ways.  This means to leave life as a constant truth.  Constant truth does not change, and it is unshakable and immovable. No matter the weather or circumstances of life, my truth and commitment to it, does not change.  My commitment to meaning and values, to G-d and His service is unchanging and unshakable.  It does not shrink in the cold of life or fade in the darkness of exile.  It is constant - just like truth. 

So however I express my higher self, whether it is in prayer, in learning, in self-refinement, in doing mitzvot, good deeds, dedicating all that I have in life to G-d's sevice - all these things do not bend or sway, but they remain a constant.  Day in and day out, truth does not become something else.

There is no such thing as a "new" truth.  G-d is Truth.  The G-d within in each of us is Truth.  He is above change, and the piece of Him within each of us is also above change.

Hashem told Moshe we are leaving Egypt and the Jews will now know my real name - my attribute of Truth.

From the time the Jews left Egypt, over 3,000 years ago, Hashem made "Truth" available to each one of us.  If we let this absolute Truth permeate ourselves and our lives, it will bring each of us to the deepest and most meaningful life by losing the "self" in Hashem.

Even the highest form or self is a limited being.  To find Hashem and the ultimate truth will only happen when me and "my" limited view of myself disintigrates into being only an expression of Hashem in this world - then I too am above the weather, above circumstance, and above change. 

I am a walking, living, breathing expression of absolute Truth.  I leave Egypt and I experience personal redemption, here and now.

May we all realize the absolute Truth, absolutely, by Hashem revealing Himself and taking us out of this final exile, immediately, now!

- Freely based on Likutei Sichos Vol. 31, pg. 23-27