Do You Want the Ultimate? You Have to Be Ridiculous!

“Think outside-the-box!”    “Forget about yourself.”    “Think big!”   “Let go.”   “Push the limits.”   “Dig deep!” 

Have you ever heard any of these clichés?  Typically, we brush these statements off, thinking that they are merely philosophical or rhetorical.

Today, I am not recommending to “think outside the box,” or “go beyond your comfort zone.” 

Rather, now is the time to lose touch with reality, as you know it, completely.

How is reality defined? By our thoughts. Whatever we think about, whatever we focus on, this becomes our imminent reality.  Today, let’s leave our thoughts behind – all of them.

Being thoughtless is usually frowned upon.  Remember the last time you saw someone acting odd or mindless? 

When we see a person speak or act foolishly, if we’re brave and ‘smart’ enough we may tell them, “Hey next time, think before you speak” or… “You need to think before you do something like that.”  This is usually the natural reaction when we witness someone acting illogical, and downright silly.

Well, I have news for you – the Torah commends this behavior, when it’s done correctly.  In fact, it’s the way you reach G-d and bring Heaven down to earth.  In the words of the Chasidic masters, if we act illogically to serve Hashem – this is called the shtus of kedusha (שטות דקדושה) or a holy sense of folly – acting ‘odd’ for the sake of heaven. 

Based on the kabalistic idea that “no thought can grasp Hashem,” we are left to wonder, if I can’t possibly fathom Hashem by thinking about Him (using my highest faculties, i.e., my mind), then how can I reach Him?  How do I connect myself to G-d?

When we realize and accept that Hashem is truly and utterly beyond us, we can move past our conscious thoughts and meditations about G-d to truly reach the Divine.  We will then stop making calculations, and start doing things that are seemingly irrational, and we’ll take action whether we want to or not, and even when those actions run contrary to our very understanding of a situation.  All lines of logic will fade away and disappear – and lose all importance.

Leaving rationality and the desire to understand (which includes analyzing what’s going on in your life, judging it, and forming conclusions – all in your in own thoughts) behind is also the secret to marital harmony. 

When we achieve true martial harmony, we turn our own home into G-d’s home, inviting Him to be our roommate. 

How so? Hashem says, “Make for me a temple so I may dwell among you.”  The temple that we can make now (while still in exile) is in our own living room, or kitchen, or better yet – the entire house.  Again, this is accomplished by leaving our calculated thoughts, our logic, and our desire to understand, and to abandon all these things.

There is an idea in Torah, that when husband and wife, man and woman (two complete opposites) get married and live in true harmony (this means they are united as one, not there is simply an agreed ‘peace-treaty’ or ‘ceasefire’), Hashem says then I will dwell among you.  Then He is present in your marriage and your home. 

This is one of the deepest ways we find Hashem and his blessings present in our lives and in our very being.  As what is the ultimate goal of marital harmony?  To bear children and raise them to lead a life based on Torah and filled with mitzvot and good deeds.  As the Previous Rebbe said (whose yartzheit, or anniversary of his passing, is today), when a Jewish man and Jewish woman raise children who keep Torah and Mitzvot, this is how we literally touch the Divine – this is how we become Hashem’s partner in creation and how we build something eternal.

A person, with G-d’s help and blessings, will live 80 or 90 years, which compared to the eternity of creation is miniscule.  But how does one live forever? 

By giving birth to and raising children who keep Torah and mitzvot, and then those children follow in your path and they also have children who keep Torah and mizvot.  When this goes on forever, then you have created something eternal – quite like Hashem.

But the key to all that is martial harmony – true unity with your spouse.  This unity brings physical and spiritual blessings – and quite simply – it creates an environment where your children can enjoy serenity, joy and peace of mind that will encourage them and lay a foundation and a desire to learn Torah and perform its mitzvot.

So how can you find this real marital harmony and by way of this realize Hashem’s infinite blessings, touch the Divine, become His partner in Creation and leave behind generations of upright children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren who respect and cherish the path of life you have laid out for them, under G-d’s directive?

You find this true, deep and inner sense of utter marital harmony and unity by leaving your thoughts behind. 

Abandon all rationale and logic, and stop trying to understand your spouse and yourself, and G-d. 

Live above your nature, and not below it. 

There is one simple piece of advice to achieve all of this: “From this moment on, no longer identify with your rationale thoughts, logical arguments and expectations.”

For example, the next time your wife asks you “Can you please help me….?”  Don’t calculate whether you have the time, money, or ability to help.  Just help her.  The next time she points out one of your flaws, try to avoid “processing” this and analyzing the health of your marriage or if you deserve such a comment.  Abandon your intellect, because “You cannot grasp G-d through thought.”

You live with G-d when you act ridiculous, which means to live above and beyond, higher than rationale thought.  Do what G-d demands of you, despite that you do not understand why you have to do it, or how it could possibly lead you to ultimate good.  The very fact that you live and act above your rationale being, brings you to a much deeper and absolute connection with G-d.

This is also the secret to never having another argument with your spouse.  If you stop trying to understand your spouse, yourself, and G-d, but merely “do what you have to do”, then how could you ever argue?  Arguments arise when you think you’re smart and you think you’re right, and you think someone else is wrong.  Let’s all stop thinking so much.

Imagine that the next time you catch yourself analyzing your marriage, your thoughts, wondering “Where is G-d?” … realize that this is not the way to find Hashem.  The direct path to Him is to tell yourself, “My lack of understanding does not matter in the least bit.” 

Serve G-d.  Do His will.  Do His mitzvot.  Honor your spouse.  Create true marital harmony and unity.

Do all of this not because you understand it or the value of it, nor because each step of the way makes sense to you.  Quite the contrary, let’s abandon rationality and “be ridiculous,” but we must carry ourselves beyond intellect, and not below it.

Below intellect means, “I’ll do what I please, and if you don’t like how I behave, too bad.” 

Above intellect means, “I’ll do what Hashem wants, and if I don’t understand why I have to do this or why Hashem put me in this situation, it doesn’t matter – I’ll do what He wants anyway.”

The same applies to how you treat your spouse – do what they want, even when you completely don’t understand why.

Of course this applies not only to marriage, but to every facet of life – act out of the joy or serving G-d even and especially when you don’t understand, and leave the desire to understand behind – for good!

When you do all of this with a smile, and moreover with true inner joy, knowing that this is how you build a temple, a dwelling for G-d in your own home, this is the ultimate objective – you bring Heaven down to earth literally, and you leave an eternal legacy of children who also serve Him, and your become His partner in creation.

The next time you exercise your super rationale being by doing what you have to do, even when you don’t understand why, this may be the final good deed that tips the scales and not only brings light and warmth to you and your family, but to the entire world!

These ideas are based on the Basi Legani discourse initially delivered by the Rebbe on the 10^th of Shvat in 5715 (1955).  For the entire discourse in simple English, visit Simply Chassidus: http://downloads.simplychassidus.com/Basi_LGani_5715.pdf