“Think
outside-the-box!” “Forget about
yourself.” “Think big!” “Let go.” “Push
the limits.” “Dig deep!”
Have you ever heard any of these clichés? Typically, we brush these statements off, thinking that they are merely philosophical or rhetorical.
Today, I am
not recommending to “think outside the box,” or “go beyond your comfort zone.”
Rather, now
is the time to lose touch with reality, as you know it, completely.
How is reality
defined? By our thoughts. Whatever we think about, whatever we focus on, this
becomes our imminent reality. Today, let’s
leave our thoughts behind – all of them.
Being
thoughtless is usually frowned upon. Remember
the last time you saw someone acting odd or mindless?
When we see
a person speak or act foolishly, if we’re brave and ‘smart’ enough we may tell
them, “Hey next time, think before you speak” or… “You need to think before you
do something like that.” This is usually
the natural reaction when we witness someone acting illogical, and downright silly.
Well, I
have news for you – the Torah commends this behavior, when it’s done correctly. In fact, it’s the way you reach G-d and bring
Heaven down to earth. In the words of
the Chasidic masters, if we act illogically to serve Hashem – this is called the
shtus of kedusha (שטות דקדושה) or a
holy sense of folly – acting ‘odd’ for the sake of heaven.
Based on
the kabalistic idea that “no thought can grasp Hashem,” we are left to wonder,
if I can’t possibly fathom Hashem by thinking about Him (using my highest
faculties, i.e., my mind), then how can I reach Him? How do I connect myself to G-d?
When we
realize and accept that Hashem is truly and utterly beyond us, we can move past
our conscious thoughts and meditations about G-d to truly reach the
Divine. We will then stop making
calculations, and start doing things that are seemingly irrational, and we’ll
take action whether we want to or not, and even when those actions run contrary
to our very understanding of a situation.
All lines of logic will fade away and disappear – and lose all
importance.
Leaving
rationality and the desire to understand (which includes analyzing what’s going
on in your life, judging it, and forming conclusions – all in your in own
thoughts) behind is also the secret to marital harmony.
When we
achieve true martial harmony, we turn our own home into G-d’s home, inviting
Him to be our roommate.
How so?
Hashem says, “Make for me a temple so I may dwell among you.” The temple that we can make now (while still
in exile) is in our own living room, or kitchen, or better yet – the entire
house. Again, this is accomplished by
leaving our calculated thoughts, our logic, and our desire to understand, and to
abandon all these things.
There is an
idea in Torah, that when husband and wife, man and woman (two complete
opposites) get married and live in true harmony (this means they are united as
one, not there is simply an agreed ‘peace-treaty’ or ‘ceasefire’), Hashem says
then I will dwell among you. Then He is present
in your marriage and your home.
This is one
of the deepest ways we find Hashem and his blessings present in our lives and
in our very being. As what is the ultimate
goal of marital harmony? To bear
children and raise them to lead a life based on Torah and filled with mitzvot
and good deeds. As the Previous Rebbe
said (whose yartzheit, or anniversary of his passing, is today), when a Jewish
man and Jewish woman raise children who keep Torah and Mitzvot, this is how we
literally touch the Divine – this is how we become Hashem’s partner in creation
and how we build something eternal.
A person,
with G-d’s help and blessings, will live 80 or 90 years, which compared to the
eternity of creation is miniscule. But
how does one live forever?
By giving
birth to and raising children who keep Torah and mitzvot, and then those
children follow in your path and they also have children who keep Torah and
mizvot. When this goes on forever, then
you have created something eternal – quite like Hashem.
But the key
to all that is martial harmony – true unity with your spouse. This unity brings physical and spiritual blessings
– and quite simply – it creates an environment where your children can enjoy serenity,
joy and peace of mind that will encourage them and lay a foundation and a desire
to learn Torah and perform its mitzvot.
So how can
you find this real marital harmony and by way of this realize Hashem’s infinite
blessings, touch the Divine, become His partner in Creation and leave behind
generations of upright children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren who
respect and cherish the path of life you have laid out for them, under G-d’s
directive?
You find
this true, deep and inner sense of utter marital harmony and unity by leaving
your thoughts behind.
Abandon all
rationale and logic, and stop trying to understand your spouse and yourself,
and G-d.
Live above
your nature, and not below it.
There is
one simple piece of advice to achieve all of this: “From this moment on, no
longer identify with your rationale thoughts, logical arguments and
expectations.”
For example,
the next time your wife asks you “Can you please help me….?” Don’t calculate whether you have the time,
money, or ability to help. Just help
her. The next time she points out one of
your flaws, try to avoid “processing” this and analyzing the health of your marriage
or if you deserve such a comment.
Abandon your intellect, because “You cannot grasp G-d through thought.”
You live
with G-d when you act ridiculous, which means to live above and beyond, higher
than rationale thought. Do what G-d demands
of you, despite that you do not understand why you have to do it, or how it
could possibly lead you to ultimate good.
The very fact that you live and act above your rationale being, brings
you to a much deeper and absolute connection with G-d.
This is
also the secret to never having another argument with your spouse. If you stop trying to understand your spouse,
yourself, and G-d, but merely “do what you have to do”, then how could you ever
argue? Arguments arise when you think
you’re smart and you think you’re right, and you think someone else is wrong. Let’s all stop thinking so much.
Imagine
that the next time you catch yourself analyzing your marriage, your thoughts,
wondering “Where is G-d?” … realize that this is not the way to find Hashem.
The direct path to Him is to tell yourself, “My lack of understanding
does not matter in the least bit.”
Serve G-d. Do His will. Do His mitzvot. Honor your spouse. Create true marital harmony and unity.
Do all of
this not because you understand it
or the value of it, nor because each step of the way makes sense to you. Quite the contrary, let’s abandon rationality
and “be ridiculous,” but we must carry ourselves beyond intellect, and not below it.
Below
intellect means, “I’ll do what I please, and if you don’t like how I behave,
too bad.”
Above
intellect means, “I’ll do what Hashem wants, and if I don’t understand why I
have to do this or why Hashem put me in this situation, it doesn’t matter – I’ll
do what He wants anyway.”
The same
applies to how you treat your spouse – do what they want, even when you completely
don’t understand why.
Of course
this applies not only to marriage, but to every facet of life – act out of the joy
or serving G-d even and especially when you don’t understand, and leave the desire
to understand behind – for good!
When you do
all of this with a smile, and moreover with true inner joy, knowing that this
is how you build a temple, a dwelling for G-d in your own home, this is the
ultimate objective – you bring Heaven down to earth literally, and you leave an
eternal legacy of children who also serve Him, and your become His partner in
creation.
The next
time you exercise your super rationale being by doing what you have to do, even
when you don’t understand why, this may be the final good deed that tips the
scales and not only brings light and warmth to you and your family, but to the
entire world!
These ideas are based on the
Basi Legani discourse initially delivered by the Rebbe on the 10th
of Shvat in 5715 (1955). For the entire
discourse in simple English, visit Simply Chassidus: http://downloads.simplychassidus.com/Basi_LGani_5715.pdf